Who says sport and art can’t play alongside each other? At a recent football match between England and Macedonia, bewildered onlookers were given the Natural Theatre Company treatment. Artistic Director Ralph Oswick, describes the company’s antics.
English fans were few and far between at a weekend match in Macedonia recently, but eagle-eyed television viewers might just have spotted two screaming, cheering police women and a rather excited ‘Bobby’ directly behind the goal.
These were not extra security sent over by the Met to protect the home crowd from hordes of British lager-louts. No, these were none other than members of your very own Natural Theatre Company.
The Naturals were performing in Skopje at the behest of the British Council, and of course, being the Naturals, they just had to make an appearance at the match, despite having been warned off by the FA.
As our famous Conehead Aliens, they had already been mobbed by hundreds of astonished villagers in the outlying regions. Children, having never seen the like before, clambered all over the crew bus. They responded en-masse to the Conehead’s universal thumbs-up greeting, and gleefully mimed having a pointy head. It was love at first sight, and far removed from the bashing one unfortunate Cone received in Chelmsford shopping centre recently.
Elsewhere, they had joined a parade in the guise of the company’s trade mark characters, the Pink Suitcase People. What folks thought about four extremely posh Brits sporting brightly painted suitcases descending on them, we will never know. At the end of the procession, the actors were inexplicably presented with a huge bean pod, as big as an umbrella, by an enthusiastic local woman. Strange things happen to a Natural!
Skopje, you will remember, was almost entirely destroyed by an earthquake in the 1960s. The ruined station clock is forever stopped at the very moment disaster struck. The city has now been rebuilt in what is often described as ‘beautiful buildings made of concrete slabs literally anchored to the rock to help prevent future disasters’.
This of course means it’s dead ugly, but being 1970s architecture, there are plenty of wide pavements perfectly suited to the Naturals unique style of wandering theatre. They were to have wandered into the stadium in their Pinks characters, but strict security measures banned the actual suitcases, even though they are always empty. In fact, just like the Three Tenors concert in Bath, even water bottles were not allowed.
So, the three glamorous police women and the handsome Bobby were sent along. A recipe for disaster, you might think, given the Macedonian fans’ propensity for burning the St. George’s flag on the terraces! Far from it. They were welcomed with much good humour, despite the hysterical media coverage before the event which had filled this particular Artistic Director with fear back home.
Actually, the only disaster occurred when our chap was suddenly taken ill outside the stadium. The locals and English fans alike looked on in bemusement as a fully uniformed Bobby threw up violently over the railings. All part of that crazy British street theatre they thought.
The Bobby had to retire to the dressing room. Undaunted, one of the fearless Naturals ladies immediately changed sex, donned the Bobby’s uniform and helmet and the show went on!
The Macedonian fans were brilliant, though as was reported in the papers, their chants did very rudely question our dear England captain’s sexuality. The very cheek of it! But they loved having the Natural Police Force on duty amongst them, and when our ‘boy’ and girls in blue lined up outside the stadium after the match to send them safely on their way, many locals came up to congratulate them on their victory.
To cap it all, they swear blind that Beckham gave them a little wave.
But, come to think of it, why would he wave to a rather feminine-looking Bobby with a dodgy moustache?
Permission to publish this article, which initially ran in the Bath Chronicle, was kindly granted by Ralph Oswick
For more information on the Natural Theatre Company visit the website, www.naturaltheatre.co.uk
