Photo credit: Rohan Spong for Nicola Hamilton’s Self Esteem – The Soundtrack
When you hear the word mediocre, your initial thought is probably of something rubbish. But by definition, mediocrity is neither good nor bad. It’s okay, but just okay.
The drive to be the best is widespread in the arts and there is often a feeling that anything less than a five-star-reviewed, award-winning performance is a failure.
Read: Knowing when your art is successful
But most artists have their more and less successful work and even the high fliers started somewhere. When you’re deep in the pit of self-loathing that the word ‘mediocre’ often conjures in the arts, you tend to forget that everyone else is dealing with the same feelings of not being good enough.
While excellence is a word beloved by politicians (who could forget Brandis’ ill-fated National Programme for Excellence in the Arts) working artists know embracing the less successful sides of ourselves can be part of the process, enabling both future creativity and enjoyment of the process.
Performer Ezel Doruk has found mediocrity to be a subjective and complicated term that can shift depending on the craft.
‘For five years I focused on acting and that has always been about hitting the mark and delivering on the night. Then I moved into clowning and discovered that is about embracing when things don’t work and discovering something within that,’ he explained.
What we are afraid of when we fail is judgement from others. But as Doruk explains, it’s not what other people think, rather it is your own reaction that has the greatest impact.
Once you’re free of other people’s judgements or definitions of mediocrity, you’re able to set your own limits for your work.
Doruk recently decided to cancel his ambitious show for this year’s Melbourne Fringe Festival, something often viewed as a ‘big no-no’ in the industry. But the decision also illustrates a certain bravery in admitting when something isn’t good enough.
‘I’m okay with having failed publicly. It’s humbled me – in my eyes I thought no one would want to talk to me, or that I’m a loser, and that wasn’t the case. There has been so much love and support.’
While we are more forgiving of mediocrity in youth, as we get older it can be harder to accept a lack of success.
Songstress Nicola Hamilton has dealt with shame around a perceived lack of a career as see approaches her 40s, despite a strong dedication to performing and her artistic practice.
Performing her one woman show Self Esteem – The Soundtrack during the 2016 Fringe Festival, she explored the momentous highs and dizzying lows of feeling good about yourself.
‘It has taken me a long time to accept what I have and haven’t achieved in my life and I still really struggle with it,’ she said.
It’s a feeling common to so many artists, that also speaks to a potentially harmful pedestalling of a certain variety of success that ignores other virtues such as commitment, navigating uncertainty, and learning.
Read: Overcoming the mid-career slump
One reason so many talented artists feel mediocre is due to comparing themselves and in some cases placing too much emphasis on self-esteem.
‘The problem with self esteem is you are always comparing yourself, which isn’t a great way to make yourself feel better,’ explained Hamilton.
Yet comparison can also be motivating, explained writer and editor Khalid Warsame.
‘When I see the successes of my friends and friendly rivals and that drives me to work more and do the things I normally wouldn’t and take risks I wouldn’t necessarily take.’
Warsame has observed that feelings of mediocrity can breed in the gap between what you are doing and what you want to do.
‘If you are an artist, you always exist in that space and you are not quite achieving what you want to,’ he said.
It can be difficult to maintain the momentum to attain your goals while also trying to be content with the knowledge that you will get there, explained Warsame.
‘It’s hard not to be at your best, but it is also the only thing you can be at as an artist – working towards something, working towards being at your best.’
As a coordinator at National Young Writers’ Festival, Warsame has observed that many early career artists experience such feelings and underplay themselves and their abilities.
His advice? ‘You have to trust your own development and that you are going to get where you’re going to get.’
While it may sting, it can also be comforting to accept that you may not achieve ‘excellence’ within your career. Statistically, many of us don’t, but the development and the practice is where the true enjoyment lies.
‘We know with any arts practice, not everyone can be a bestseller or achieve their dreams. I can’t tell people to disregard those specific material dreams, but they are less important than most people think they are,’ he explained.
‘My friend who is a poet said that she sees herself writing poetry in her old age regardless of what happens in her career, and I realised the same.’
While it can be difficult to accept that your art may only for yourself, it allows our sense of mediocrity irrelevant. After all, what is excellence and what is mediocrity?
Embracing mediocrity can also help overcome fear during the creative process and ‘blindside your inner critic,’ as Hamilton explained.
‘You just have to start writing and be determined for it to be crap. Otherwise you can just sit there with a blank page and never write anything because you’re scared it won’t be perfect.’
It’s not about striving for mediocrity, but rather acknowledging it is an experience common to many. We don’t need to compromise, settle for less or relinquish our pursuits, but instead learn to be kinder to ourselves.
‘The best thing is to speak to yourself the way you would speak to your friend, which is with compassion and being genuinely kind to yourself.
‘That doesn’t mean lying and pretending everything you’ve done is amazing, you can be honest but be gentle and kind and that helps us all to be more realistic,’ added Hamilton.
Doruk agrees, pointing out there is humility in being mediocre. ‘If we can embrace that a great deal more, we might learn a lot more about ourselves rather than trying to be perfect all the time.’
Australian comedian Tim Ross has some final thoughts to share on mediocrity. ‘You can always find solace in seeing people who aren’t very good succeed at what they do. There are lots of people who are pretty mediocre making a go of it and that is mostly through hard work and a little bit of networking and just wanting it.’
Reflecting on his early music career prior to comedy, he added: ‘There is nothing wrong with mediocrity. I never let my lack of music ability stop me from doing something I really enjoyed. Twenty years later I use those skills.
‘Success comes from not giving up and getting better and really enjoying something. Everyone is shit at everything when they start out,’ concluded Ross.
