Image: via Berlin Art-Parasites artist unknown
Love and art have a lot in common. Art is an avenue to be daring with ideas, to experiment, to collaborate and to challenge perceptions. Finding love also requires you to be daring, step outside your comfort zone and a relationship is often considered a collaboration.
There’s no shortage of art lovers either: 94 percent of Australians read, attend events or listen to music so collectively we love art. But can sharing our art interests help us find love?
For those craving a little more creativity in their dating lives, the arts offers plenty of options. From The Kiss by Auguste Rodin, to pages of romantic prose that set hearts alight, the arts is a natural home to feelings of lust and desire, so it makes sense that people are turning off Tinder to let their hearts collide in the company of the Greats – at least for an afternoon.
We look at six ways creative singles can be a bolder in their search for new friendships, platonic or otherwise.
1. Scissors and glue to the ready
Upon attending a recent Craft Singles night hosted by Work-Shop, it was clear that art – in this case craft – is the great leveller for people who might otherwise be put off by the idea of speed dating. The promise of beer, pizza, and a trip down memory lane with an assortment of cut and paste craft activities provided a safety net that is arguably essential when talking to complete strangers in quick succession – if all else failed, you could convince yourself you just came for the craft.
The evening was full of feeble attempts to construct sculptures out of dry spaghetti and marshmallows, compose poetry in pairs and make cheesy valentine cards. A relaxed, playful atmosphere meant that any nerves quickly dissipated, replaced by a roar of flirtatious banter.
It’s not just crafters that get all the fun. Last year, the Wheeler Centre’s Literary Speed Dating proved so popular they announced a second night where fans of fiction could bring their most loved, loathed or recent literary purchase and discuss it with possible partners of the opposite or same sex.
Melbourne International Film Festival also hosts speed dating for filmbuffs. Be it film, literature, or even craft, what makes arty speed dating attractive is having an automatic conversation starter and an automatic tick under the ‘shared interest’ box.
Sexual anthropologist and author Dr Bella Elwood-Clayton said that good dates are memorable ones, and ‘combining art and courtship – winning combo,’ she said.
2. Visit a gallery
Galleries and museums also have in built ice breakers. There is something about wandering through a gallery room only to find that your keep bumping shoulders with an intriguing stranger to examine the same work. Here lies the perfect opportunity to ask a question, test the waters with some commentary, and strike up a conversation.
Art lover “Julia Smith” who met her current flame in the National Gallery of Victoria bookstore told us she found galleries were one of the few places where there is no stigma attached to being alone.
‘It is probably one of the places where it is acceptable to talk to a stranger, it is not out of the ordinary to make small talk or to go up to someone, particularly at the evening events such as openings or the group tours.’ Art after dark events or special events such as the NGV’s Melbourne Art Book Fair provide plenty of opportunities to mingle.
When regularly attending gallery openings, it is likely that you will begin to recognise familiar faces and form connections. In this way, not only can the arts community help leverage your career, but it may also leverage your love life as a friend may introduce you to a potential date.
Given that research by Sassler and Miller found that most people met their significant other through friends or family (25 percent) or through a shared interest (24 percent), the odds of meeting someone at a gallery opening are stacked pretty high.
‘You’ve got a greater chance of meeting like-minded souls,’ said Smith. ‘You might talk about some aspect of the art, and if you are looking at continuing that conversation or seeing that person again then you can suggest having some kind of aperitif in the tea room or members room.’
For those where the thought of asking someone out for a drink after meeting at a gallery is too daunting, she suggests focusing on keeping it in the gallery. ‘Because there is an interactive atmosphere – you’ve got the exhibition, you’ve got garden, you’ve got the gallery café – if you are having a good conversation you can make a less intimidating proposal of talking more about the books and the artworks.’
3. Make eyes in a bookstore
Aren’t we all familiar with that fantasy of reading on a train and taking a brief glance away from the pages only to spot the person adjacent to us also clutching the same novel? Your eyes meet and heady conversation ensues. It’s the fine work of Literary Cupid at his best. But then reality comes back into focus, you’ve missed your stop and there was no such romantic miracle at play after all.
But before putting a dampener on the day dream, perhaps consider milling about in a bookstore. Author readings can create a relaxed environment to meet your match, or if you’re feeling bold you can muster the courage to ask the object of your affection what book they recommend. And at the very least, there is the comfort that books also make great bedfellows.
Similarly attending talks at The Wheeler Centre and striking up conversation with the person sitting next to you or joining a book club is a great way to flirt while simultaneously satisfying your thirst for literature and ideas.
If you want to take your love of literature to the next level and pen a missive of your own, Melbourne’s The Boon Companions are hosting Yours, etc. – a night of penmanship, courtship, and love letters. The evening is for the heartstruck fan of literature, writing and wine and sure to please ‘the old-fashioned wooer in all of us’.
4. Volunteer at arts events
Volunteering at arts and music festivals such as Melbourne Fringe Festival, Emerging Writers’ Festival and more is a great way to make industry connections, learn new skills and meet new people. And with working with dozens of engaged and interesting people, there is potential to develop a bit of a crush.
Volunteering gives you the opportunity to get to know someone in a way that swiping right or left on the dating app Tinder cannot. Couples who have met through volunteering have claimed it took the pressure off the first date, provided a common interest as well as the instant ability to tell if it’s someone you easily connect with.
You can even skip the volunteering altogether and simply attend a festival. As The National Young Writers conference discovered, the literary festival can be a breeding ground for many a creative romance.
5. Attend a talk or workshop
Getting up early to attend a talk might not be everyone’s ideal way to spend a Friday morning, but for hundreds of creatives across the globe, the free event Creative Mornings is a great way to connect with like-minded individuals.
Now in over 100 cities, Creative Mornings is a monthly short talk delivered by a creative over breakfast. For the early bird, the breakfast meeting is similar to the gallery opening as it is a way to become familiar with a community without the late nights.
Continuously coming up with new ideas, in an interview Creative Mornings Founder Tina Roth Eisenberg said it was difficult to meet like-minded, creative people when she was single, so she wanted there to be a simply way for people to indicate they are single at the events.
The relaxed global community also openly encourages using the platform for dating, with the option to tick ‘single’ when you create your online Creative Mornings profile.
Taking acting classes, attending writing workshops, or other events and talks are also a great way to meet new people.
6. Go to a gig alone
In an ever connected world it seems things like eating alone, going to see a film along, going to a gig along, and doing just about doing anything alone carries the weight of a stigma. But such experiences can be enjoyable and nourishing.
‘I think it’s courageous and exciting to attend events on your own. It pushes us to communicate with people and step out of our comfort zone. Also, it makes it less intimidating for other people to approach you,’ said Elwood-Clayton.
Smith agreed and said that attending a gig solo is one of the best ways to meet new people because you are more receptive to your environment and not having a safety net of friends can push you to strike up conversations you otherwise wouldn’t.
‘The bonus is that you have already established that you have something in common with one another, the same taste in music at least, and that can be a great conversation starter you’d otherwise miss out on if you were with your friends.’
Hanging towards the bar at interval can help when trying strike up conversation. If someone catches your eye, channel your inner artist, be bold and start a conversation.
Like art, dating is about experimenting, having fun, and learning more about what interests you. The worst thing that can happen is someone declines your invitation to continue the conversation, but at least there is the comfort of being surrounded by great art, and there is plenty to love about that.
